Thursday, July 9, 2009

You're No Hitler: The Weather

America's Angriest Columnist joins us from The Weekly World News.

I’m madder than Winston Churchill at an A.A. meeting! Just when I figured Al Gore couldn’t get any nuttier, yesterday he made a fool of himself again.

He gave a speech at some fancy British college, and told the kids that fighting global warming was like fighting Hitler.

Well, global warming and World War II both had something to do with “gas”, but other than that, I don’t get it. I didn’t drop out of divinity school like Al Gore did, and I didn’t invent the internet or get a hoity toity Nobel Prize, so can somebody explain his speech to me?

If the sun is Hitler, does that make the moon Mussolini? Are polar bears the Poles? Are cow farts the Kamikaze? OK, Japan was the Land of the Rising Sun but this is ridiculous!

Reading his speech, it’s pretty clear Al Gore thinks he’s the Winston Churchill in all this. Well, he’s fat enough, but that’s about it. I can’t believe Al would think much of Churchill’s famous cigars – don’t they cause pollution? Not as much as Gore’s Lear jet and two SUVs, I’ll bet.

So, is Gore planning on ending global warming by nuking the sun? Twice?

Besides, it was Hitler who started the first anti-smoking campaign. You’d think Al would like him for that!

The trouble with Al Gore’s speech is that nobody’s ever died of global warming, World War II wasn’t a scam FDR cooked up to make money (although I wouldn’t put it past the S.O.B…) and the sun hasn’t bombed Pearl Harbor.

Plus nobody has to hide their Cadillacs and those old-fashioned light bulbs in their attics. Well, not yet, anyhow…


  1. This is brilliant.

    Also, "it was Hitler who started the first anti-smoking campaign" - is that true?!?!

  2. I miss the Weekly World News, too bad they're only on the web....